Superstition.

I'm sure there are loads of people who read their zodiac horoscopes in the newspapers on a daily basis. All of them don't necessarily believe in such things but its just something people do. And it stays in the back of their minds sometimes. Like when deciding what to wear for work, they think, oh...today's lucky colour is green. Maybe I should put this green top on. And when they have a fairly decent and uneventful day, they feel like it worked. And those few times when something good happens, their faith in such things increases a little.

I'm one of those people. I believe in the fact that everything written about my zodiac describes me perfectly. Like its written keeping me in mind. So apparently, Aquarians are soft spoken, dreamers, independent and soothing personalities. So mostly, when I'm not a raving lunatic, I'm pretty much all of those things. Something else that I also like believing is palmistry. Now I know that astrology and palmistry are not superstitions, they're a science in their own way. But sometimes, these things make you superstitious. Nothing else..

When I was in school, some girl in my class offered to read my palm. She didn't really seem like an expert but I played along. She said I seem to have a good career graph but sad love life. Its like my career will compensate for the lack of my love life. We all laughed and in my heart, I hoped that was true. I was so stuck on doing well in life, being successful, that love didn't matter. I didn't even think of relationships until I was in college. And that's pretty late for a "Delhi girl". 

Once I reached college, I had another good friend read my palm. This was about 4 years ago so I don't remember her words exactly, but I remember her saying something similar. That my education and career seemed more hopeful than the love life. I brushed it off again, thinking how does it really matter. I used to be extremely awkward talking about relationships back then. I thought relationships were not for me. Not so surprisingly, my thoughts were exactly the same even after nearly 3 years. Towards the end of my college life. I had the most brilliant 3 years in college (not because of college but because of everything else). I was always happy for all my friends who were in relationships, but I never really understood what it was like. So yes, it was always simpler hanging out with the singles. Through those 3 years, I lead an exceedingly happy single life. I used to be curious sometimes, but not curious enough to try getting into a relationship. People thought I was so weird. 21 years old and never been in a relationship. Even my father asked me jokingly if I swung the other way. But in all honesty, those times when my friends told me about my hopeless love life looking at my palm, were still in the back of my head. Somewhere I had never let that go. Through my college life, a fairly decent amount of hitting on and flirting happened. I was very new to that too. But my friends guided me well. Even then, I never really thought of how it would be if I dated this person. I preferred being alien to the concept of relationships, as crazy as this may sound, considering I am a smart girl, not excessively overweight and not too shabby looking either. 

Then one day things changed. And i reached a situation where I had to make a decision. Not a very easy one. It was a risk I wish I hadn't taken, atleast things wouldn't have become so complicated. And today, A year and a half later, I'm back to square one. Superstitious as ever.