In the twenty two years of my existence, there hasn't been one place that i could call home. It's like being a sapling, that is uprooted every time it starts spreading its roots in one place. I've lived in a lot of cities, I liked some, I hated some. But there was only one that I loved. maybe that's because I found more people like me there. We didn't really belong to that place, yet we all felt like we belonged.
I've been back in Gurgaon for over seven months now, but I still can't get myself to call this place home. My parents have a better social life than me. Even my younger sister has a better social life than me! And that's really saying something! I have a job here now, but that doesn't mean I belong. I might have a comfortable life here, but I'd give it up for a nomad's life in an instant. It's like being on an extended vacation, just grossly over extended. So the excitement of shopping, doing things with the family, the comforts and luxuries of home don't seem that attractive anymore.
I've met alot of people, who've spent their entire life in one city. They're in their comfort zone, satisfied with the fact that their life has not had sudden and huge changes, satisfied that there are people they know, they've known since junior school or high school at the most. They've lived in the same area, have had the same hang outs, have known their cities inside out. I envy those people sometimes. I wonder what it would've been like, if we had never moved out of Delhi. Or maybe just stayed back in one of the 7-8 cities that we lived in. I would've been able to keep in touch with those friends, I would've seen my city change through the years, I would've had certain routines and a certain lifestyle.
Sometimes, I'm glad we moved around so much. The travelling, the exposure, the different experiences taught me alot. Maybe more than I could've handled, but then again, they're life lessons that I had to learn sometime or the other. Dealing with different people, settling into a new lifestyle, a new culture, new schools, new houses, new neighbours, etc etc. It was a learning experience all the time. Excessive learning sometimes. And that's what made me a no mad. It helped me appreciate the good compared to the terrible places we've lived in. It helped me appreciate good friends, different cultures and most importantly, it helped me meet new people and fall in love.
One of my classmates from college tweeted this quote she read at the Delhi airport that said "When you feel no desire to wander is when you know that you belong". And I could really relate to it. Because I have that desire to wander, and maybe wander for the rest of my life, looking for that place where I would belong. And someday, somewhere, I will feel at home.
I've been back in Gurgaon for over seven months now, but I still can't get myself to call this place home. My parents have a better social life than me. Even my younger sister has a better social life than me! And that's really saying something! I have a job here now, but that doesn't mean I belong. I might have a comfortable life here, but I'd give it up for a nomad's life in an instant. It's like being on an extended vacation, just grossly over extended. So the excitement of shopping, doing things with the family, the comforts and luxuries of home don't seem that attractive anymore.
I've met alot of people, who've spent their entire life in one city. They're in their comfort zone, satisfied with the fact that their life has not had sudden and huge changes, satisfied that there are people they know, they've known since junior school or high school at the most. They've lived in the same area, have had the same hang outs, have known their cities inside out. I envy those people sometimes. I wonder what it would've been like, if we had never moved out of Delhi. Or maybe just stayed back in one of the 7-8 cities that we lived in. I would've been able to keep in touch with those friends, I would've seen my city change through the years, I would've had certain routines and a certain lifestyle.
Sometimes, I'm glad we moved around so much. The travelling, the exposure, the different experiences taught me alot. Maybe more than I could've handled, but then again, they're life lessons that I had to learn sometime or the other. Dealing with different people, settling into a new lifestyle, a new culture, new schools, new houses, new neighbours, etc etc. It was a learning experience all the time. Excessive learning sometimes. And that's what made me a no mad. It helped me appreciate the good compared to the terrible places we've lived in. It helped me appreciate good friends, different cultures and most importantly, it helped me meet new people and fall in love.
One of my classmates from college tweeted this quote she read at the Delhi airport that said "When you feel no desire to wander is when you know that you belong". And I could really relate to it. Because I have that desire to wander, and maybe wander for the rest of my life, looking for that place where I would belong. And someday, somewhere, I will feel at home.
I love this post..totally relate to it. I can see you written all over this post. Its so genuine.. Home is a state of mind for me..more of how the mind feels than the place..
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